"If you understood everything I said, you'd be me" - Miles Davis
"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russell
"Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government." - Lenny Bruce
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" - Homer Simpson
The Other Utility Fog
They link to me, I link to them, They link to me...
Safety Warning. Not for use as a stroller. May contain parts. Manufactured in a facility where one or more of the following may be present: Peanuts, almonds, unfiltered water, oxygen, ultaviolet and infrared radiation, sunlight. Use only as directed by your legal counsel. Do not use during earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, flooding or presidential election years. Use of handles may promote RSI, see your doctor or therapist before opening. May be flammable when exposed to open flame. Not for use as a stepping stool or adult seat. May cause injury if dropped from a height. Does not enable user to fly. Do not eat. If erection lasts for over 4 hours call friends and brag. Persons attempting to find a motive in this blog will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. We don't need no stinkin' badges. Same-day service. Unplug after use. Slippery when wet. Ignore this notice. Use only as directed. Consume in moderation. Lather, rinse, repeat. Your mileage may vary. For external use only. Don't try this at home. No purchase is necessary. You must be present to win. Do not think of an elephant. Other restrictions may apply. Apply only to affected areas. Part of a daily balanced diet. No shirt, no shoes, no service. You need not be present to win. No user-serviceable parts inside. Do not exceed recommended dosage. Offer void where prohibited by law. Do not remove under penalty of law. You have the right to remain silent. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Valid only at participating locations. Freshest if used before date specified. Prices subject to change without notice. Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate. Contents may have settled during shipment. Caution! The edge is closer than you think. In emergency, break glass, pull down handle. Product is sold by weight and not by volume. Do not use if safety seal is torn or missing. If condition persists, consult your physician. Detach and include upper portion with payment. Nutritional need is not established in humans. Objects on screen are closer than they appear. Satisfaction guaranteed; return for full refund. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Anything you say can and will be used against you. May be used as flotation device in case of emergency. Please note locations of emergency exits upon arrival. No animals were harmed in the production of this page. Caution: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear. Please leave as clean on leaving as you would like to find on entering. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Do not use if you have ever had an allergic reaction to this product or any of its ingredients.
Business is unpredictable and unsafe. The Internet is dangerous. Many blogs have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the blogs.
The Internet is covered in slippery slopes with loose, slippery and unpredictable footing. The RIAA can make matters worse. Patent trolls are everywhere. You may fall, be spammed or suffer a DOS attack. There are hidden viruses and worms. You could break your computer. There is wild code, which may be vicious, poisonous or carriers of dread malware. These include viruses and worms. E-mail can be poisonous as well. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. We do not inspect, supervise or maintain the Internet, blogsphere, ISP?s or other features, natural or otherwise.
Real dangers are present even on the Web. E-commerce is not the mall. It can be, and is, steep, slippery and dangerous. Web features made or enhanced by humans, such as firewalls and spam filters (if any) can break, collapse, or otherwise fail catastrophically at any time. We don't promise to inspect, supervise or maintain them in any way. They may be negligently constructed or repaired. The web is unsafe, period. Live with it or stay away.
Stay on trusted sites whenever possible. The terrain, in addition to being dangerous, is surprisingly complex. You may get lost. Carry food, water and an APU at all times.
Ads for things you don't want and other objectionable content can arrive from nowhere. This can happen naturally, or be caused by people around you that are being used as bots. Spam and disgusting images of all sizes, including huge images, can arrive, or pop-up with no warning. Use of spam filters is advised for anyone approaching the Internet. They can be purchased or rented from us. They won't save you if you get hit by something big or on a port you left open. A whole DOS attack might collapse on you and squash you like a bug. Don't think it can't happen.
Public opinion can be dangerous, regardless of the forecast. Be prepared with extra damage control, including press releases. Ticking off the blogsphere can kill you. The Streisand effect can turn a simple nastygram into a deathtrap.
If you make hasty comments about those in high places (making unsupported comments that reduce the image of a person, often posted quickly and without thinking) without proper thought and, or allow your employees to do so, you are making a terrible mistake. Even if you know what you're doing, lots of things can go wrong and you may be sued for libel. It happens all the time.
We do not provide rangers or security personnel. The other people on the web, including other visitors, our employees, agents, and guests, and anyone else who might sneak in, may be stupid, reckless, or otherwise dangerous. They may be mentally ill, criminally insane, drunk, using illegal drugs and/or armed with deadly malware and ready to use them. We aren't necessarily going to do anything about it. We refuse to take responsibility.
If you surf at work, you may become pre-occupied with it. This is true whether you are experienced or not, trained or not, equipped or not, though training and equipment may help. It's a fact, surfing at work is extremely dangerous. If you don't like it, surf at home. You really shouldn't be doing it anyway. We do not provide supervision or instruction. We are not responsible for, and do not track how much time you surf at work (although we could if we wanted to.) As far as we know, your employer may find out and send you plunging to unemployment. There are countless tons of loose management staff ready to be dislodged and fall on you or someone else. There are any number of extremely and unusually dangerous conditions existing on and around the Web, and elsewhere on the Internet. We may or may not know about any specific hazard, but even if we do, don't expect us to try to warn you. You're on your own.
Rescue services are not provided by us, and may not be available quickly or at all. Local computer geeks may not be equipped for or trained in hard drive recovery. If you are lucky enough to have somebody try to get rid of a virus or find that deleted file, they may be incompetent or worse. This includes your local computer store. We assume no responsibility. Also, if you decide to participate in a rescue of some other unfortunate, that's your choice. Don't do it unless you are willing to assume all risks.
By entering our site, you are agreeing that we owe you no duty of care or any other duty. We promise you nothing. We do not and will not even try to keep the premises safe for any purpose. The premises are not safe for any purpose. This is no joke. We won't even try to warn you about any dangerous or hazardous condition, whether we know about it or not. If we do decide to warn you about something, that doesn't mean we will try to warn you about anything else. If we do make an effort to fix an unsafe condition, we may not try to correct any others, and we may make matters worse! We and our employees or agents may do things that are unwise and dangerous. Sorry, we're not responsible. We may give you bad advice. Don't listen to us. In short, ENTER AND USE THIS SITE AT YOUR OWN RISK. And have fun!
Warning: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
Warning: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
Caution: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
Handle with Extreme Care: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles per Hour.
Consumer Notice: Because of the 'Uncertainty Principle,' It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
Advisory: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Known as 'Tunneling,' This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
Read This Before Opening Package: According to Certain Suggested Versions of a Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting This Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
This is a 100% Matter product: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
Public Notice as Required by Law: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
Note: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a 'Gluing' Force About Which Little Is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.
Attention: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer Is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are 'Rolled Up' into Such a Small 'Area' That They Cannot Be Detected.
Please Note: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
Component equivalency notice: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
Health Warning: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
Important Notice to Purchasers: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Reemerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot be Guaranteed.
Use inside a nuclear power facility voids warranty.
Wed-Dec 01 2010
RT @warrenellis: Hideous new buzzword for the week: "postpersonal blogs"
Mon-Nov 29 2010
Let the Microposting Resume
Twitter's move to Oauth broke my homebrew desktop perl app that grabbed my tweets and fed them to the UFog blog. And to tell the truth, I was too lazy to revamp it-hey, at work one of my projects is getting a dos emulation that connects to a Novell Netware server working in a virtualized Windows Server 2008 R2 terminal server, so my geek plate is full. BUT..It seems that there is a certain, shall we say "legacy" backdoor hack that lends my perl app new life.
Fri-Mar 12 2010
Twitter Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:49:36
WTF? Why can I tweet from Twitlet but not directly from Twitter? chitter...chitter...skreee
Sun-Mar 07 2010
Twitter Sun, 07 Mar 2010 01:31:45
Mon-Feb 22 2010
Twitter Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:09:26
Installed Apache-now all I have to do is get it to work.
Sun-Feb 07 2010
Twitter Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:29:29
Sat-Feb 06 2010
Wed-Sep 09 2009
Social Media Mosh
Here's what I've got now:
I think what I really need is for the blog to take RSS feeds and turn them into posts. Then I could move Twitter and Google Reader out of the sidebar and into the big show. And since the blog is mirrored on Facebook, so would Twitter and Google Reader.
Thu-May 28 2009
Comments can be left now. Should have tested that sooner. Oops
Mon-May 18 2009
My Head Hurts
Why the lack of posts? Well it seems that I've racked up 24+ man-hours, dozens of Google searches, multiple dozens of web-pages, 20 bookmarks, 10 Firefox tabs open at a time, deep study of the Apache server reference pages for Mod_Write, RewriteRule, and htaccess, baffled muttering , more Apache research, and uncounted attempts to upload and test a configuration of my new web site that will do what I want.
And all for naught. The problem kicked my mental ass. I could disable one of the security measures the hosting company set up, but that would be like cheating, and it might piss them off too. So I've sent a support-ticket off to the Help Desk. I know they can help me, an Apache Server can be configured to do just about anything you want, like turn squirrels into pocket watches. But the question is, will they? The support gods can be fickle, and may decide that my quest falls outside of their sacred purview.
So here's hoping for a happy answer.
Fri-May 08 2009
Sat-Feb 21 2009
Valid, but now the comment doesn't show in feeds.
Ok, that kind of worked, but the feed didn't validate. Try another tweak. Tweak another try
Lets try this again.
Let us see if we can add a "comments" link to the RSS feed without disrupting the space-time continuum.
Sat-Nov 08 2008
Utility Fog Blog has passed 250,000 hits. I attribute this more to persistence than popularity.
Sat-Oct 11 2008
Testing, 1 2 3
UFog Blog has upgraded to run under Blosxom 2.1.2. Now I need to see if the RSS feeds work.
Sat-Feb 16 2008
Wed-Jan 02 2008
I'd Better Get Funnier
Utility Fog Blog is the #1 result for the Google search for "funny blog entries"
Wed-Aug 08 2007
Let's see what my YouTube embedded player looks like:
Sun-Jul 01 2007
Sat-Jun 02 2007
Slightly Freaking Out
Last Sunday I noticed that my free hit-counter from Webstat wasn't working. It turns out that Webstat's free accounts are limited to less than 20,000 hits a month. Which is fine, they are doing this for free, and they've worked great until now. So I got another free hit-counter that doesn't have a limit. And now that it's been running since Sunday a few things have become very apparent: UFog Blog is getting 800-900 hits a day (and may be climbing), and 99% of the hits are coming by way of Google Image Search. This, kids, is why you should always put something in the alt field of the img tag.
Some of my highest ranking Google Image Searches:
(periods added to search terms to avoid muddying the waters)
In First Page:
Fri-Mar 30 2007
I've added IP-address logging capability to my Pollxn comments-engine. The next step is to add IP-blocking of comment spammers.
Sat-Mar 24 2007
Tinker, Adjust, Fiddle, Repeat
I think I've managed to get the Internet Explorer and Firefox rendering of Utility Fog Blog to look pretty much the same on both Windows and Linux. It certainly helps to set Firefox so that it doesn't override the way the page wants to be displayed.
Sun-Mar 18 2007
Sometime in the last hour Utility Fog Blog passed the 100,000 hit mark.
Mon-Dec 18 2006
Big Wind Bad
Why was Utility Fog down since sometime Friday (12/15/2006)? Well, it seems that the Pacific Northwest had some weather problems . Thursday night there was just a teensy bit of torrential rain followed by record winds early Friday morning. The result was your basic minor apocalypse, minus the cats and dogs living together and any appearance of giant marshmallow men. Over a million people were without power (and heat), traffic has been a nightmare due to dark signals and downed trees and gasoline has become scarse because of so many powerless stations. And somewhere in the middle of all this something bad must have happened to my ISP, hence no blog (or email).
Mon-Nov 13 2006
Mon-Aug 07 2006
The Web Knows
A little Internet research turns up 2 explanations for comment spam that contains invalid links or even no links at all:
1: Some comment systems record the IP address of the commenter and use a sort of "karma" system to combat spam. Leaving a lot of linkless comments could give an IP address enough good "karma" to then deposit spam.
2: Spam with bogus "number" links (like "www.865425.com") could be trackable "scouts". The spam-robot deposits a comment and then checks back later to see if the spam is still there. The numbers let the robot keep track of where and when the spam was deposited. If the scout spam has survived then the real spam will be left.
PS. I'm making invisible links on the bottom of the blog to any e-mail addresses I find on sites that spam me. The idea is that email-address harvesting web-robots will find the links and then start spamming the spammers.
Sun-Aug 06 2006
My New Hobby
More happenings on the Comment Spam front:
1: Friday I got my first batch of Chinese spam. They think big in China-these buggers had around 100 links apiece. Only 3 spams though, so it was hardly a major onslaught.
2: Sunday seems to be THE day for spam. I had nothing all week, but just like last Sunday, here they come again. Today's spams are puzzlers. They have links, unlike last week's, but the links are to non-existent addresses like "www.561383.com".