"If you understood everything I said, you'd be me" - Miles Davis
"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russell
"Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government." - Lenny Bruce
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" - Homer Simpson

Utility Fog Banner

Nobody Move Or The Freedom Gets It
"As the President argued when he began the War For Civilization, America cannot allow basic constitutional protections to its enemies - or its suspected enemies, or potential allies and relatives of its suspected enemies - lest they "use the forums of liberty to destroy liberty itself." Indeed, in the hands of the Jihadists, a writ of habeas corpus would prove more deadly than a hijacked plane or weaponized smallpox, for with it, they could unleash Freedom against itself in an Ouroborobian orgy of Islamofascist terror. America's one hope is to make certain that Freedom never falls into the wrong hands by curbing Freedom proliferation throughout the globe.

America may have lost this battle, but the Medium Lobster remains an optimist. There is always hope for curtailing the uncontrolled spread of Freedom, and the best place to start is here on the Homelandfront, where porous borders, open ports, an educated populace, and the First Amendment leave American citizens dangerously vulnerable to the misuse of Freedom by enemy forces. Fortunately, America and its President have antiterror weapons at its disposal. The President only a year ago discovered he posseses the power to suspend international treaties and domestic torture statutes; there's still time for him to discover he posseses the power to suspend court decisions that affect his ability to apply his suspension of those torture statutes."
From the very funny, and occasionally profound, Fafblog!


I Love The Cranky
"I'm off on this tangent because I'm enraged by the numerous attempts at verbose, pseudoliterary, "nuanced" criticism of Moore this week by the learned priests of our business. (And no, I'm not overlooking this newspaper.) Michael Moore may be an ass, and impossible to like as a public figure, and a little loose with the facts, and greedy, and a shameless panderer. But he wouldn't be necessary if even one percent of the rest of us had any balls at all.

If even one reporter had stood up during a pre-Iraq Bush press conference last year and shouted, "Bullshit!" it might have made a difference.

If even one network, instead of cheerily re-broadcasting Pentagon-generated aerial bomb footage, had risked its access to the government by saying to the Bush administration, "We're not covering the war unless we can shoot anything we want, without restrictions," that might have made a difference. It might have made this war look like what it is-pointless death and carnage that would have scared away every advertiser in the country-rather than a big fucking football game that you can sell Coke and Pepsi and Scott's Fertilizer to.

Where are the articles about the cowardice of those people? Hitchens in his piece accuses Moore of errors by omission: How come he isn't writing about the CNN producers who every day show us gung-ho Army desert rats instead of legless malcontents in the early stages of a lifelong morphine addiction?

Yeah, well, we don't write about those people, because they're just doing their jobs, whatever that means. For some reason, we in the media can forgive that. We just can't forgive it when someone does our jobs for us. Say what you want about Moore, but he picked himself up and did something, something approximating the role journalism is supposed to play. The rest of us-let's face it-are just souped-up shoe salesmen with lit degrees. Who should shut their mouths in the presence of real people."
Link
Via Eschaton

2004 Bulwer-Lytton Contest Winners
"10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."

9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'"

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."

3) "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear;' a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You lied!" "
Link
Via The Mighty, Mighty MZ

Overkill
What the heck does anyone need 18 speeds on a blender for? Unless the higher speeds actually break down the molecular structure of your smoothie into it's constituent elements- That would be really cool. Link


Sounds Good To Me
"Kerry invited Aspen resident and writer Hunter S. Thompson to ride in his motorcade and brought three copies of Thompson's book about the 1972 presidential race, "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail" for autographs.

"Just to put your minds all at ease, I have four words for you that I know will relieve you greatly," Kerry told the fund-raiser. "How does this sound ? Vice President Hunter Thompson." "
Link
Via jwz

Meatwad Get The Honeys, G
"My name is ...

Shake Zula
The mic rula'
The old schoola'
You want to trip, I'll take it to ya'

Frylock and I'm on top
Rock you like a cop
Meatwad you're up next with your knock-knock

Meatwad make the money, see
Meatwad get the honeys, G
Drivin' in my car, livin' like a star
Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus

Uh! Check check it, yeah

'Cause we are the Aqua Teens
Make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream!
'Cause we are the Aqua Teens
Make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Number one in the 'hood, G."
Link
Via Brainlog

!!!
Ya gotta love this song title:
"We Were Stoned When We Thought Up The Title Of This And We Didn't Want To Give It A Name That We Had To Explain As 'Oh Yeah We Were Stoned When We Thought Of It' So We're Just Calling It Improvisational Jam 11-02-01"
Via Abstract Dynamics

Mark Morford Gives Me Another Reason To Live
"This is what you are not to forget, ever: We are a nation wherein it is perfectly OK to show a dozen vaguely nauseating ads for erection pills and a hundred more touting the merits of slamming a sixer of Bud Light at halftime as you and your frat buddies ogle that chick at the bar as meanwhile the wife stays home and prances around the kitchen, high on the fumes from her new Swiffer WetJet. But a shot of a woman's breast? Inappropriate and traumatizing, pal. Don't like our hypocrisy? Move to France with the other perverts.

Aww hell. Let's try and spell it out anyway. Let's just say it right here: The kids are fine. Kids are not traumatized by much of anything we think they are. Kids are not scarred for life by hearing Howard Stern crack a penis joke with a porn star. Kids are not scarred for life by seeing one quarter-second of a famous nipple on national television. Kids are not scarred for life by reading the word "f--" in this column, which of course they can't, because we can't print it, because if they saw it they would explode and die.

You know what scars kids? You know what traumatizes our youth and stabs at their innocent spirits like Dick Cheney thrusts at integrity? Kraft Lunchables, that's what. Drug-happy shrinks. Refined sugar. Abstinence-only sex education. Gutted school-music programs. McDonald's marketing gimmicks. Joe Camel's head shaped like a giant penis. Bovine growth hormones. Homophobic adults with guns. Rampant hypocrisy, like legal Zoloft but illegal pot, or being sent to Iraq at 18 but you can't have a beer until you're 21.

You want the trauma of youth? Try learning how BushCo's Big Industry cronies are being allowed to poison the air and the water and the food supply. Try self-righteous organized religions that tell kids their bodies are evil and their beautiful natural urges are sinful and their new Messiah is Mel "Gushin' Blood" Gibson and never mind that priest staring at you so longingly, sweetie.

Try senators and FCC honchos and attorney generals and religious morality police who make life feel like a disease to be suffered rather than a pile of random messy bliss to be rolled around in.

Really, now, is there any scar more grievous than that? Anything more traumatic than teaching our kids that, no, you are not a healthy potent sexually burgeoning self-defined being of potential and love, but, rather, you are prey, ever put upon, ever under duress, ever meek and misinformed and ever requiring armed, patronizing protection. What a wonderful lesson. "
Link
Subscribe to Mark Morford

I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Does
"The Bush administration has decided to take the unsual step of bestowing on its own troops and personnel immunity from prosecution by Iraqi courts for killing Iraqis or destroying local property after the occupation ends and sovereignty returns to Iraq, U.S. officials said.

The administration plans to accomplish that step - which would bypass the most contentious remaining issue before the transfer of power - by extending an order that has been in place during the year-long occupation of Iraq. Order 17 gives all foreign personnel in the U.S.-led Coalition Provisional Authority immunity from "local criminal, civil and administrative jurisdiction and from any form of arrest or detention other than by persons acting on behalf of their parent states."
...
The administration is taking the step in an effort to prevent the new Iraqi government from having to grant a blanket waiver as one of its first acts, which could undermine its credibility just as it assumes power. But U.S. officials said Washington's act could also create the impression that the United States is not turning over full sovereignty - and giving itself special privileges.

The issue of immunity for U.S. troops is among the most contentious in the Islamic world, where it has galvanized public opinion against the United States in the past. A similar grant of immunity to U.S. troops in Iran during the Johnson administration in the 1960s led to the rise of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, who used the issue to charge that the shah had sold out the Iranian people."
Link


Just Thinking
Imagine the global improvement to our quality of life if unison dancing were outlawed. I blame Pat Benatar, by the way, for introducing this abomination in her "Love is a Battlefield" video. Exemptions for soul backup singers-I'm thinking Temptations, Impressions, etc.

They've got reality shows where everyone is in on the joke except the contestants-I wonder if they could do one where the producers/hosts are the dupes? Imagine the wholesome hilarity of embarrassing/humiliating hollywood showbiz-types.

Unchecked police and military power is a security threat
"The United States is admired throughout the world because of our freedoms and our liberties. The very rights that are being discussed within the halls of the Supreme Court are the rights that keep us all safe and secure. The more our fight against terrorism is conducted within the confines of law, the more it gives consideration to the principles of fair and open trial, due process and "innocent until proven guilty," the safer we all are.

Unchecked police and military power is a security threat -- just as important a threat as unchecked terrorism. There is no reason to sacrifice the former to obtain the latter, and there are very good reasons not to."
Link
Via Boing Boing

Aha!
Apparently only Pokernerd and I have glommed on to the fact that Chris Masterson's charity on "Celebrity Poker Showdown"-"The Citizen's Commission on Human Rights"-is a Scientology sub-organization. Bells went off as soon as I heard the phrase "psychiatric abuse". Out of the 4570 hits on Google for the term, 917 also contain the word "Scientology".

It's Not Just Me
I'm reassured to know that I'm not alone in hearing GWB say "war on terra".


Patty & Selma Give It 2 Thumbs Up
"012 FUNERAL IN BERLIN/DEATHLOCK
James Bond Trick! Casket becomes a jetski
Held armor out to test for booby traps
Metal bowl & electric juicer jam TV signals
Batteries, wires, mixer, rubber band, cart move armor
Vinegar & Baking Soda smoke screen
Spread out metal duct pipe for "warning alarm"
Rewired & disconnected "bad guys" TV signals
Used mirror as periscope
Got some "trigger" to squirt water at bad guy"
Macgyverisms
Via #!/usr/bin/girl[v.4]

LOLLOTR
Here's an enormous-and by enormous I mean really, really, big-collection of "what if "The Lord of the Rings" had been written by someone else"-fiction. If you've got a hankerin' for faux-Tolkien, look no further.
Via Making Light

Bill Moyers Is Mad
"There's no question about it: The corporate conservatives and their allies in the political and religious right are achieving a vast transformation of American life that only they understand because they are its advocates, its architects, and its beneficiaries. In creating the greatest economic inequality in the advanced world, they have saddled our nation, our states, and our cities and counties with structural deficits that will last until our children's children are ready for retirement, and they are systematically stripping government of all its functions except rewarding the rich and waging war.

And they are proud of what they have done to our economy and our society. If instead of practicing journalism I was writing for Saturday Night Live, I couldn't have made up the things that this crew have been saying. The president's chief economic adviser says shipping technical and professional jobs overseas is good for the economy. The president's Council of Economic Advisers report that hamburger chefs in fast food restaurants can be considered manufacturing workers. The president's Federal Reserve Chairman says that the tax cuts may force cutbacks in social security - but hey, we should make the tax cuts permanent anyway. The president's Labor Secretary says it doesn't matter if job growth has stalled because "the stock market is the ultimate arbiter."

You just can't make this stuff up. You have to hear it to believe it. This may be the first class war in history where the victims will die laughing.

But what they are doing to middle class and working Americans -- and to the workings of American democracy -- is no laughing matter. Go online and read the transcripts of Enron traders in the energy crisis four years ago, discussing how they were manipulating the California power market in telephone calls in which they gloat about ripping off "those poor grandmothers." Read how they talk about political contributions to politicians like "Kenny Boy" Lay's best friend George W. Bush. Go on line and read how Citigroup has been fined $70 Million for abuses in loans to low-income, high risk borrowers - the largest penalty ever imposed by the Federal Reserve. A few clicks later, you can find the story of how a subsidiary of the corporate computer giant NEC has been fined over $20 million after pleading guilty to corruption in a federal plan to bring Internet access to poor schools and libraries. And this, the story says, is just one piece of a nationwide scheme to rip off the government and the poor.

Let's face the reality: If ripping off the public trust; if distributing tax breaks to the wealthy at the expense of the poor; if driving the country into deficits deliberately to starve social benefits; if requiring states to balance their budgets on the backs of the poor; if squeezing the wages of workers until the labor force resembles a nation of serfs -- if this isn't class war, what is?

It's un-American. It's unpatriotic. And it's wrong."
Link
Via Metafilter

Homework
DRM (Digital Rights Managment) talk at Microsoft. DRM, among other things, is why you can't play cool Japanese horror DVDs on that DVD player you picked up at Best Buy.
"Here's what I'm here to convince you of:

1. That DRM systems don't work
2. That DRM systems are bad for society
3. That DRM systems are bad for business
4. That DRM systems are bad for artists
5. That DRM is a bad business-move for MSFT"
Link
Via Boing Boing

Like My Sister Said-Cool
Translucent Concrete

Low Budget
I was listening to the 9-11 commission hearing this morning and I was struck by a comment a witness made. Apparently Al Qaeda's annual pre-9-11 budget was 30 million dollars a year-and out of this 10 to 15 million went to the Taliban. Now 30 million dollars is a lot of money to you or me, but once you start talking real money it's small change-I wouldn't be surprised if the Seattle Parks department spents more per year.

Damn
Why the heck isn't "G-Men from Hell" on Cable? William Forsythe is an unsung gem of an actor, thank god the Coen brothers like him. And I gotta see Robert Goulet as the Devil.
Via Boing Boing

Padilla
" On June 1, Deputy Attorney General James Comey called a news conference to discuss the evidence the government says it has amassed against the "dirty bomb" suspect being held in the North Charleston brig, Jose Padilla. While Comey's revelations were widely reported, the impropriety of his actions seems to have passed largely unremarked.

Acknowledging that he was playing to "the court of public opinion," Comey claimed to tell "the full story of Jose Padilla," disclosing informants" claims about the prisoner and several statements Padilla allegedly made while in custody. Comey suggested that the statements showed Padilla to be a dangerous al Qaeda associate intent on taking untold American lives.

At the same time, Comey acknowledged that the government did not expect to offer Padilla any forum in which to refute or question its alleged evidence, and dodged questions about the questionable timing of releasing such incendiary information while the Supreme Court is nearing decision on Padilla's case, which raises the legality of his detention by the president. To me, as a former federal prosecutor and a criminal defense lawyer, Comey's performance constituted one more legally and ethically dubious maneuver by our government in a case that I already regarded as one of the most troubling in memory.
...
Although Attorney General John Ashcroft claimed, the day after Bush's declaration, that Padilla was at the center of "an unfolding terrorist plot to attack the United States by exploding a radioactive "dirty bomb,"" - that is, an explosive device that would spread radioactive waste - no charges, criminal or even civil, have ever been filed against Padilla. The sole justification the government has placed before the court, the public and Padilla's lawyers for his imprisonment is a brief "declaration" from a Defense Department official who had no direct knowledge of the case. That declaration contained a sanitized summary of the intelligence President Bush relied on. Yet the government has fiercely resisted giving Padilla any kind of hearing where even this minimal evidence could be questioned. It maintains that it can continue to hold Padilla as an enemy combatant as long as the war on terrorism lasts.
...
Absent from Comey's presentation was any discussion of the legal authority that allowed him to smear an American citizen in this way. Comey was not doing his duty in a courtroom, or giving a classified report to Congress, but making a purely voluntary disclosure of information that the government has only now found it opportune to reveal. He was frank in admitting that his mission was public relations. Yet the American Bar Association's ethical rules caution prosecutors to "refrain from making extrajudicial comments that have a substantial likelihood of heightening public condemnation of the accused."

Similarly, the Constitution prohibits Congress from passing bills of attainder - that is, legislative acts that single out an individual for punishment without trial. But the executive branch, already Padilla's jailer, now claims the right to declare him guilty before the world, without giving him the opportunity for any meaningful response."
Link
Via Metafilter

I Like It, Like It, Yes I Do
The official Utility Fog soft drink is Cricket Cola

Remembering Bill and Ivan
" The decisive battle for the liberation of Europe began sixty years ago this month when a Soviet guerrilla army emerged from the forests and swamps of Belorussia to launch a bold surprise attack on the mighty Wehrmacht's rear. The partisan brigades, including thousands of Jewish fighters and concentration-camp escapees, devastated the rail lines linking the German Army Group Center to its bases in Poland and Eastern Prussia.

Three days later, on 22 June -- the third anniversary of Hitler's invasion of the Soviet Union -- Marshal Zhukov gave the order for the main assault on German front lines. Twenty-six thousand heavy guns and rocket launchers pulverized German fortifications in a matter of minutes. The banshee-like screams of the Katyusha rockets were punctually followed by the roar of 4000 tanks and the battle cries (in more than 40 languages!) of 1.6 million Soviet soldiers. Thus began Operation Bagration, an assault launched over a 500 hundred mile long front.

But what American has ever heard of Operation Bagration? June 1944 signifies Omaha Beach not the crossing of the Dvina River. Yet the Soviet summer offensive was almost an entire order of magnitude larger than Operation Overlord (the invasion of Normandy) in both the scale of forces engaged and the direct cost to the Germans.

By the end of summer, the Red Army (which included full divisions of Poles and Czechs) had reached the gates of Warsaw as well as the high passes of the Carpathians which command the entrance to Slovakia as well as Hungary. Soviet tanks, in a stunning reverse blitzkrieg, had caught Army Group Center in steel pincers and destroyed it. The Germans would lose more than 300,000 men in Belorussia alone. Another huge German army had been encircled and would soon be annihilated along the Baltic coast. The road to Berlin had been opened.

Thank Ivan."
Link
Via Ethel the Blog

OK, Now I'm Done
I couldn't blog on Friday, so in honor of the "all Reagan, all the time" day I was subjected to here's a nice list of facts:
"The House and Senate did not both come under Republican rule during Reagan's time.
The Berlin Wall did not come down when Reagan was in office.
Reagan is not the president who left office with the highest approval rating in modern times.
Reagan was not "the most popular president ever."
Reagan did not preside over the longest economic expansion in history.
Reagan did not shrink the size of government.
Reagan did preside over what was at the time the "biggest tax cut in history" but it was almost instantly followed up by the "biggest tax increase in history."
Reagan was not "beloved by all." He was loved by some, liked by some, and hated by some with good reason."
Link


Nothing To See Here
"Two days after the Sept. 11 attacks, with most of the nation's air traffic still grounded, a small jet landed at Tampa International Airport, picked up three young Saudi men and left.

The men, one of them thought to be a member of the Saudi royal family, were accompanied by a former FBI agent and a former Tampa police officer on the flight to Lexington, Ky.

The Saudis then took another flight out of the country. The two ex-officers returned to TIA a few hours later on the same plane.

For nearly three years, White House, aviation and law enforcement officials have insisted the flight never took place and have denied published reports and widespread Internet speculation about its purpose.

But now, at the request of the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks, TIA officials have confirmed that the flight did take place and have supplied details.

The odyssey of the small LearJet 35 is part of a larger controversy over the hasty exodus from the United States in the days immediately after 9/11 of members of the Saudi royal family and relatives of Osama bin Laden.

The terrorism panel, better known as the 9/11 Commission, said in April that it knew of six chartered flights with 142 people aboard, mostly Saudis, that left the United States between Sept. 14 and 24, 2001. But it has said nothing about the Tampa flight."
Link
Via The BigMoboDaddy

Bush/Zombie Reagan 2004
"Why is Vice President Cheney been replaced on the ticket with Zombie Reagan?
Vice President Cheney has decided to step down, in order to spend more time with his family. Additionally, his de-aging process requires that he bathe in the blood of virgins on an increasingly frequent basis. While this has not hampered his ability to perform the duties of his office in any way, it sort of creeps Condi out. The rumor that the Vice President was moved to an undisclosed location and lost is untrue.

Can a zombie even hold elective office?
The Constitution offers no specific prohibition against zombies serving their country. In fact, the majority of the Administration is already composed of the undead. It is a little known fact that Secretary of State Colin Powell is the only cabinet-level member that still has a beating heart. Zombie Reagan, however, cannot become President, because he has already served two terms in that office. If George W. Bush were to die during his second term (say, by being eaten by Zombie Reagan), three options exist: the Speaker of the House would be elevated to the Presidency, Congress would convene to elect a new President or the President would undergo the zombification process and complete his term. "
Link
Via Boing Boing

I Don't Think So
"To protect subordinates should they be charged with torture, the memo advised that Mr. Bush issue a "presidential directive or other writing" that could serve as evidence, since authority to set aside the laws is "inherent in the president.""
Link

Cue The Hagiography
I'm sorry he's dead. I'm sorry he had Alzheimers. But I am really, really, sorry he was President.
"Ronald Reagan claimed that the Russian language had no word for "freedom." (The word is "svoboda"; it's quite well attested in Russian literature.) Ronald Reagan said that intercontinental ballistic missiles (not that there are any non-ballistic missiles?a corruption of language that isn't his fault) could be recalled once launched. Ronald Reagan said that he sought a "Star Wars" defense only in order to share the technology with the tyrants of the U.S.S.R. Ronald Reagan professed to be annoyed when people called it "Star Wars," even though he had ended his speech on the subject with the lame quip, "May the force be with you." Ronald Reagan used to alarm his Soviet counterparts by saying that surely they'd both unite against an invasion from Mars. Ronald Reagan used to alarm other constituencies by speaking freely about the "End Times" foreshadowed in the Bible. In the Oval Office, Ronald Reagan told Yitzhak Shamir and Simon Wiesenthal, on two separate occasions, that he himself had assisted personally at the liberation of the Nazi death camps.

There was more to Ronald Reagan than that. Reagan announced that apartheid South Africa had "stood beside us in every war we've ever fought," when the South African leadership had been on the other side in the most recent world war. Reagan allowed Alexander Haig to greenlight the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in 1982, fired him when that went too far and led to mayhem in Beirut, then ran away from Lebanon altogether when the Marine barracks were bombed, and then unbelievably accused Tip O'Neill and the Democrats of "scuttling." Reagan sold heavy weapons to the Iranian mullahs and lied about it, saying that all the weapons he hadn't sold them (and hadn't traded for hostages in any case) would, all the same, have fit on a small truck. Reagan then diverted the profits of this criminal trade to an illegal war in Nicaragua and lied unceasingly about that, too. Reagan then modestly let his underlings maintain that he was too dense to understand the connection between the two impeachable crimes. He then switched without any apparent strain to a policy of backing Saddam Hussein against Iran. (If Margaret Thatcher's intelligence services had not bugged Oliver North in London and become infuriated because all European nations were boycotting Iran at Reagan's request, we might still not know about this.)

One could go on. I only saw him once up close, which happened to be when he got a question he didn't like. Was it true that his staff in the 1980 debates had stolen President Carter's briefing book? (They had.) The famously genial grin turned into a rictus of senile fury: I was looking at a cruel and stupid lizard. His reply was that maybe his staff had, and maybe they hadn't, but what about the leak of the Pentagon Papers? Thus, a secret theft of presidential documents was equated with the public disclosure of needful information. This was a man never short of a cheap jibe or the sort of falsehood that would, however laughable, buy him some time.

The fox, as has been pointed out by more than one philosopher, knows many small things, whereas the hedgehog knows one big thing. Ronald Reagan was neither a fox nor a hedgehog. He was as dumb as a stump."
Link
Via Billmon/Whiskey Bar

Today's Trivia
France still has 2 North American possessions-the islands of Saint Pierre and Miquelon.


They're Dead, You're Not
Got an obituary jones? Check out The Blog of Death - what a great name.
Via Portage

Give Me A Fucking Break
Microsoft has patented double-clinking.
"A method and system are provided for extending the functionality of application buttons on a limited resource computing device. Alternative application functions are launched based on the length of time an application button is pressed. A default function for an application is launched if the button is pressed for a short, i.e., normal, period of time. An alternative function of the application is launched if the button is pressed for a long, (e.g., at least one second), period of time. Still another function can be launched if the application button is pressed multiple times within a short period of time, e.g., double click."
Link
Dickweeds
Via Metafilter

S*p*a*m
What would life be like if your name really was "Jizamatic Babeatron"? Big shoes to fill.

Trains Are So Out
Drainspotting
Via Plep