Fri-May 30 2003
I'm Not a Lawyer, Nor do I Play One on TV
Reuters: The United States said
on Thursday that all diplomats in Iraq had lost the
immunity they enjoyed under the government of President Saddam Hussein.
"They are accredited to a regime that is no longer existent and therefore their
accreditation would have lapsed. They ... don't have diplomatic status any
more," State Department spokesman Richard Boucher told a daily briefing.
Boucher initially said diplomatic missions in Baghdad had also lost their
protected status but he later said he would check to see if the properties had
some residual immunity.
Two thoughts sprung to mind when I heard about this:
If the Iraqi regime (bad governments are called regimes, it sounds more
evil) is no longer existent then who are we still at war with? And we are
still at war, according to the commanding general of U.S. forces in Iraq,
Lt. Gen. David McKiernan: "The war has not ended,
that's a point I need you to understand." You could make the case that
the Iraqi government never surrendered, Saddam is still unaccounted for, and even
if it has devolved down to junior Ba'ath party members, since the war against
the Iraqi government is still ongoing, so is that government.
And about that "residual immunity" the embassy properties "might" have-I always
thought embassies were the sovereign territory of the nations they represent.
Think About It
I saw this bumper sticker today: "Don't drive any faster than
your angel can fly". Does this mean I can get my 20-year-old VW Rabbit
to go faster than an angel? That doesn't seem right. Angels are semi-divine
creations of God, capable of great feats. The Devil is a fallen angel. I can't
cite scripture on the subject, but I feel certain in believing angels can
fly pretty damn fast. Conclusion: That was a pretty stupid bumper sticker.
3 good bumper stickers:
I "Heart" My Ass
Born Just Fine the First Time
I Bet Jesus Would Use His Left Turn Signal
Tue-May 27 2003
Coming to a Large Hadron Collider Near You
"Amazingly, scientists are becoming increasingly confident that they will be able
to create black holes on demand, in quantity, using the new atom-smashers due
to come online in the next five years. Some estimates suggest that the new
Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at the European Center for Nuclear Research (CERN
-the acronym is in French) will be able to create an average of one black hole
each second. LHC will bombard protons and antiprotons together with such a
force that the collision will create temperatures and energy densities not seen
since the first trillionth of a second after the Big Bang. This should be
enough to pop off numerous tiny black holes, with masses of just a few hundred
protons. Black holes of this size will evaporate almost instantly, their
existence detectable only by dying bursts of Hawking radiation."
Link
Via AlterSlash
Jhonen Vasquez (Invader Zim) Interview
DRE: You obviously made some money from it.
JV: Yeah, but it's all gone. The last thing that I wanted was to be sitting
around in this pile of cash, which is what I did for way too long before
deciding it was bad. I had this Hefty bag filled with cash that I would get
into and have one of my slaves seal twist tie closed. I'd roll around in it,
giggling and laughing like a monster baby until I was tired. But it was dirty
money, dirty children money printed on the skin of flayed children. I needed to
find an evil way to spend it so that Nickelodeon would be contributing to something
unholy in the world.
DRE: What'd you spend it on?
JV: Just whores. Whores over on Sunset Boulevard and Santa Monica. Whores and
robots. Some of the whores were robots.
Link
Via Bookslut
Kill Me Now
P. Diddy is going to play seminal bluesman Robert Johnson in a
HBO film. The Horror....
Link
Utterly Unsubstantiated Gossip I Prefer to Believe Because it's Amusing
"A friend (claims he) was walking through the Union Square station when Bill
Murray walked up to him, gave him a noogie and then whispered into his ear: "no
one will ever believe you." Incidentally, this story was told because last
month we came across Mr. Murray having a couple drinks at the Stanhope Park
Hyatt bar (on 5th, across from the Met.)"
Via Gawker
Sun-May 25 2003
The Dog has Caught the Car
Faux Pax Americana
"...But the hawks' gloating proved premature. The generals' argument had never
been
just about what forces it would take to decapitate Saddam's regime. It was also
about being ready for the long, grinding challenge after the shooting stopped.
By that measure they have been proven dizzyingly correct. April and May brought
daily news reports from Baghdad quoting U.S. military officers saying they
lacked the manpower to do their jobs. As the doubters predicted, we may have
had enough troops to win the war--but not nearly enough to win the peace.
...
Things have not gotten much better over the following weeks. Lawlessness and
chaos continue to reign. Women are raped, law-abiding citizens have their
property stolen, those who have anything left don't go to work so they can
guard what they still have. The prize the United States sacrificed so much to
gain--freeing Iraq from Saddam and clearing the way for its democratic
rebirth--is being squandered on the ground as ordinary Iraqis come to equate
the American presence with violent lawlessness and immorality, and grasping
mullahs rush into the vacuum created by our lack of troops. Mass grave sites,
with no troops to secure them, have been unearthed by Iraqis desperate to find
remnants of relatives killed by Saddam Hussein's regime, but those same Iraqis,
digging quickly and roughly, may have inadvertently destroyed valuable evidence
of human rights violations and crippled the ability of prosecutors to bring war
criminals to justice. Perhaps worst of all, the prime objective of the entire
invasion--to secure and eliminate Saddam's weapons of mass destruction
capacity--has been dealt a serious blow. Even Iraq's publicly known nuclear
sites had been thoroughly looted before American inspectors arrived, because,
once more, not enough troops had been available to secure them. Radioactive
material, perhaps enough to make several "dirty bombs," has now disappeared
into anonymous Iraqi homes, perhaps awaiting purchase by terrorists. Critical
records detailing the history and scope of the WMD program have themselves been
looted from suspected weapons sites because too few soldiers were available to
guard those places. "There aren't enough troops in the whole Army," said Col.
Tim Madere, the officer overseeing the WMD effort in Iraq, in a recent
interview with Newsweek. Farce vied with disaster when the inspectors' own
headquarters were looted for lack of adequate security. Triumph on the
battlefield has yielded to tragedy in the streets."
Link
Via Semi-Daily Journal
Wait Just a Darn Minute
TNT is going to show "Rush Hour" tomorrow (5/25/03). In their ads they
have a clip from the movie wherein Jackie Chan is sliding down a big, long
red banner. Now it catches my suspicious eye that on said banner there is
a large black "TNT". Is this an example of post-release computer-generated
product placement?
Oh yea, those bottom-left-of-the-screen inserts for "Lucky" that FX runs
on top of the "Buffy" reruns suck big time. It's bad enough for there to be extraneous
crap distracting from the show, but these advert-nuggets have sound. I keep wondering
where that clanking noise is coming from.
Neato Gizmo
StrangeBanana
generates random webpages via CSS and C# code. It's much cooler than
it sounds, especially if you have done any HTML at all. I've got to
learn CSS.
Via Daypop, which means everyone
else already knows about it, and I am again behind the curve
Nice Rant-Too Bad it's True
"As I sit to reflect on the greatest scam in American foreign affairs history,
in
the background one of conservatism's more accomplished scammers is yapping away
on MSNBC like a rabid chihauhau -- and as a host, no less. For several days now
and in so many words, bit by agonizing bit the Bush administration has been
forced to concede that the Iraq war, as a WMD threat-stopper, was a hoax.
Thousand of lost lives and unaffordable billions later, Bush II's deceit is
exposed -- drip, drip, drip. To describe the administration's latest betrayal
of public trust as outrageous is choice understatement; nevertheless, what has
kept MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, for want of a better word, outraged for the past
week? Not the Iraq scam, but ...
Danny Glover. Yes, that Danny Glover, the actor. I kid you not.
Listening to Scarborough -- a proto-fascistic former U.S. representative turned
network media whore -- is a lesson plan in Goebbels-ese. As his beloved
president's sordid rock of deceit is overturned, the less-than honorable
gentleman from the great state of Florida diverts public notice by waging a
cruel, word-twisting campaign against the harmless Glover, who Scarborough says
blames only America as the proximate cause of 9/11. Glover does no such thing
as MSNBC's barking dog contorts it, yet lawyer Joe Scarborough attacks with the
zeal of a drunken Joe McCarthy. He demands that MCI, the long-distance company,
fire Glover as its spokesman; he's anti-American (meaning anti-Bush) and should
be banished. Scarborough plasters MCI's phone number on the screen and urges
viewers to likewise demand Glover's head. The host later declares the virtuous
campaign a success: because of his relentless pressure, says Joe, MCI canned
Glover. For the moment we are safe in our beds. ...
To ramrod an illegal war, the president had said "we know" of Saddam's illegal
goods. The vice president said Iraq both has "reconstituted nuclear weapons"
and in time would acquire "nuclear weapons." (Try sorting that one out.) The
secretary of state said he "knew" the Iraqi tyrant possessed warheads full of
biological agents. And when asked by Congress if Saddam kept weapons of
destruction, the Defense Policy Board's chairman said "sure he does."
But it was all a fraud -- "facts" cooked up by a hastily created office of
Pentagon yes-men to trumpet what the C.I.A. and Defense Intelligence Agency had
found impossible to confirm. Like the American public, Task Force 75 had
trusted it leaders. Both got knifed."
Link
Via Booknotes
Sat-May 24 2003
You Are Not Ready
Dear fictitious Comcast ad dweeb:
If you're so stupid you haven't figured
out how turn down the nasty modem noise you really shouldn't be making the
leap to broadband.
I find his impression of modem noise infinitely more annoying than the
real thing. In fact I'm slightly fond of hearing my modem sputter away.
For one thing it lets me know that I'm actually dialing out and not just
wanking off.
Don't Make Promises
I don't watch much FoxNews. I have to watch my temper and I can't afford
to replace a destroyed television. But I was interested in this promise
by Bill O'Reilly:
"O'REILLY: Colonel, if weapons of mass destruction aren't found, your
reputation, my reputation -- because I will have to apologize because I bought
into it, I bought into it -- and out of a scale 1 to 10, 10 is the best, how
certain are you that we're going to find these weapons of mass destruction?
MAGINNIS: There's a 10 there, Bill.
[A little later in the conversation]:
O'REILLY: Real fast, Colonel, any prediction of when something is going to
happen on your part? Real fast.
MAGINNIS: In the next two weeks, we are going to have many hundreds of people in
there. I would say within a month, we will have a lot of..
O'REILLY: All right, a month from today, we'll do this story again, and then we
have it on tape. Gentlemen, thanks very much. Very interesting
That was April 22nd. Still no apology. I'd settle for a resignation.
Link
I am not alone
Static Zombie also noticed the featuring of
the 25th Amendment in this year's TV.
Thu-May 22 2003
$1 trillion missing
"The Department of Defense, already infamous for spending $640 for a toilet
seat,
once again finds itself under intense scrutiny, only this time because it
couldn't account for more than a trillion dollars in financial transactions,
not to mention dozens of tanks, missiles and planes.
The Pentagon's unenviable reputation for waste will top the congressional agenda
this week, when the House and Senate are expected to begin floor debate on a
Bush administration proposal to make sweeping changes in how the Pentagon
spends money, manages contracts and treats civilian employees.
The Bush proposal, called the Defense Transformation for the 21st Century Act,
arrives at a time when the nonpartisan General Accounting Office has raised the
volume of its perennial complaints about the financial woes at Defense, which
recently failed its seventh audit in as many years.
Among the provisions in the 207-page plan, the department is asking Congress to
allow Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to replace the civil service system
governing 700,000 nonmilitary employees with a new system to be detailed later.
The plan would also eliminate or phase out more than a hundred reports that now
tell Congress, for instance, which Defense contractors support the Arab boycott
of Israel and when U.S. special forces train foreign soldiers, as well as many
studies of program costs.
The administration's proposal, which would also give Rumsfeld greater authority
to move money between accounts and exempt Defense from certain environmental
statutes, prompted influential House Democrats to write Speaker Dennis Hastert
last week complaining that the proposals would "increase the level of waste,
fraud, and abuse . . . by vastly reducing (Defense) accountability."
"The Congress has increased defense spending from $300 billion to $400 billion
over three years at the same time that the Pentagon has failed to address
financial problems that dwarf those of Enron," said Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Los
Angeles, one of the letter's signatories.
But while Capitol Hill sees the need, and possibly has the will to reform the
Pentagon, the devil remains in the details, and the administration aroused
Democratic suspicions when it dropped its 207-page transformation bill on
lawmakers on April 10 -- leaving scant time to scrutinize proposals that touch
many aspects of the biggest department in government.
"We have as much problem with the process as with the substance," said said Rep.
John Spratt, D-S.C., who co-signed Waxman's letter calling the transformation
bill "an effort by the Department to substantially reduce congressional
oversight and public accountability."
Defense's Zakheim counters that the reform proposals would "remove the barnacles
of past practices (and provide) DOD with modern day management while preserving
congressional oversight and prerogatives."
But Waxman, a critic of the administration's handling of Iraqi reconstruction
contracts, called the proposals "a military wish list" to take advantage of
"the wartime feeling."
"Secretary Rumsfeld is hoping to march through Congress like he marched through
Iraq," Waxman said."
Link
The trillion dollars isn't "missing"-we're never going to find it, "wasted" would
be a better word. And the military doesn't need more exemptions from environmental
laws, it needs to stop being the massive polluter it is now.
What Would Kubrick Do?
Rugrats just had a visual quote from "2001"
Nothing to See Here, Move Along
"A commander with the Texas Department of Public Safety ordered the destruction
of all documents and photographs gathered in the search for the Democratic
state legislators who fled to Oklahoma to block a congressional redistricting
bill."
Link
Via Fark
Mon-May 19 2003
Never, ever, that thirsty
I'm all for loud drunken parties, so I find the ads for Keystone Light mildly
amusing. But why anyone would try to party down on watered-down second-rate
Coors is beyond me. Coors is bad enough.
Not a Pleasant Alternative
Let's suppose that Iraq did possess large quantities of ready-to-use WMDs, even
if we can't locate them. That could mean that some bad people have absconded with
them to parts unknown. Still think invading Iraq in order to make us more safe
was a good idea?
Fri-May 16 2003
If GWB had a resume
Accomplishments as president:
* Attacked and took over two countries.
* Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
* Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
* Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
* Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
* First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
* First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
* First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
* Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
* Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
* Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
* Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
* Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
* Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
* Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
* Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
* Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
* Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
* Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
* My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.
Full Resume
Via Boing Boing
Picture Me with a Big Light Bulb over my Head
So I'm listening to Ry Cooder's "Chicken Skin Music" CD in the truck this
morning,
zipping along the viaduct (why not?) when his version of Leadbelly's "Goodnight
Irene" comes on, replete with lovely
conjunto
accordian (which is alternatively spelled "accordion", go figure).
And part of the lyrics go like this:
Sometimes I live in the country
Sometimes I live in town
Sometimes I take a great notion
To jump in the river and drown
And it hits me-this is where Ken Kesey got the title for
"Sometimes a Great Notion", which clicks even louder in my head when I
remember that there is a big drowning scene. I'd always assumed Kesey had got it
from Shakespeare, whenever I thought about it at all. Figuring things out is
cool.
Thu-May 15 2003
Constitution fans go apeshit
Who would have thought that two different TV shows
would feature the 25th amendment as a crucial plot device?
Marketing Good
The Quisp
cereal page is surprisingly odd and entertaining:
"My Evil-o-meter goes right off the scale when the Evil Collector Wand is placed
near one of these demon rolling scooters," says Dr. Makenitup. "Obviously these
'Scooteroids,' as I call them, are spewing bits of negative energy which are
causing major bruising and scabs all over the world."
Independent observers agree that it appears they are making energy slaves of
humanity as youth are driven madly to move, move, move on their shiny metal
instruments of destruction in endless circles of despair, ironically providing
the power needed to fuel their own demise!
One small pink alien in green tights who grew up in the vicinity of the Scooter
planet was skeptical of this invasion theory, saying, "Heck with Scooteroids.
You should be terrified of those small fake animals full of beans... they're
the ones that have taken over entire solar systems leaving nothing but cold,
dark space in their wakes! They use those cute little faces to gain entry to
homes all through the universe, springing to life to viciously attack with
their smiling hand-stitched faces, adding to the macabre horror. So why fear
Scooteroids? It's the bean animals that are the real menace! ""
Via MZ
How much do I hate professional sports?
"Cable networks like ESPN are raising rates to make up for higher rights fees,
which result from skyrocketing player salaries. Basketball players, for
instance, make an average of $2.6 million this season, a fourfold increase from
1990. Because owners are paying more, they want more from the TV networks,
which pass along costs to cable operators, which raise the monthly cable bill.
During a Congressional hearing last week, cable operators blamed ESPN and other
programmers for soaring costs. The operators said customers should be allowed
to pick networks a la carte. Government mandates now force viewers to buy a
complete package."
F*#&$#ing Baseball raises my cable rates! I hate professional sports a lot.
Link
Via Fark
Tue-May 13 2003
Sun-May 11 2003
You have dishonored my master, now you must die!
Mmmmmm....Sweet Hong Kong Cheese! - Showtime Extreme is showing
Master of the Flying Guillotine, aka
"The One Armed Boxer vs. The Flying Guillotine".
From the Village Voice review:
"Never anger a man who ventures forth from his own home by setting it ablaze
after leaping through the ceiling."
Please, Baby Baby, Please
"Microsoft's latest security lapse with its Passport information service could
trigger a $2.2 trillion fine on the company courtesy of the US government."
A man can dream, can't he?
Link
Via Fark
Sat-May 10 2003
I call Bullshit
I like "The Matrix"-Laurence Fishburne could make ice-fishing dramatic and
Carrie-Anne Moss in tight black plastic is always a good thing. The greenish
tint is annoying, but I can let that slide. But there's one thing that continues
to bug me: The whole reason the uber-computer Matrix has kept humanity alive in
pods is to harvest our body heat for power. Even if the people are fed soylent green and
processed algae this can't be an efficient way to generate heat. A much better
rational for humanities continued existence would have been that their brains
are used for extra computing power. A little parallel processing/quantum multiple
reality mumbo jumbo and I would have been satisfied.
Home assignment: Given that current environmental concerns would be irrelevent and
avoiding carbon sources as too short-term, provide the Matrix with power.
Somebody Needs a Hug...
Or an introduction to the business end of a speeding bus.
Link
Via Blog of a Bookslut
I'm Curious
Just how do the Israelis identify suicide bombers after the explosion?
Is there that much left of the bomber? Do they have that many fingerprints
or other data on file? I'm just wondering because the bomber's families' house
is destroyed in retaliation, so accuracy is important, and it
seems that every bomber I hear about is identified.
Galactus has a Blog
"Revealed myself to the Earthpeople today. There were many tears amid the
calamities caused by my having devoured the moon and several continents. It is
as Dr. Phil has stated, must admit that my actions have consequences."
Link
Tue-May 06 2003
Mon-May 05 2003
Howard Dean's Closing Remarks
From the South Carolina Democratic Presidential Candidate's Debate:
"We can't win this election if we worry so much about electability that the
American people can't tell the difference between us and the Republicans.
The great unspoken political lie, which comes from stages like this, is elect me
and I'll solve all of your problems.
The great unspoken truth is that the future of this country rests in your hands,
not mine.
You have the power to rise up and take this country back. You have the power to
give this party the backbone to challenge this President, and all of the harm
he has done to our country. You have the power to create jobs, balance the
budget, and bring us our dream, which Harry Truman put in our platform in 1948
- health care for every American.
The reason people don't vote in this country is that we don't give them a reason
to vote. This campaign is about giving all of you a reason to vote.
Abraham Lincoln said, "A government of the people, by the people, and for the
people shall not perish from the earth." President Bush has forgotten the
ordinary people of this country.
It's time to take our party back and it's time to take our country back."
Howard Dean's Blog
Sun-May 04 2003
Another One Bites the Dust
File this along with "Liberal Media" in the "Conservative Victim Myths"
drawer:
The Myth of the Spat-Upon Veteran
Via Follow Me Here
Sat-May 03 2003
I can't Think of a Heading, I'm too Disgusted
"U.S. says Canada cares too much about liberties"
I can't listen to a Bush speech-Every time he uses the phrase
"enemies of freedom" I have to fight the urge to vomit.
Not Very Observant
So I'm watching "The Phantom" (1996), and villian #1 is rowing into a cave
that contains a "abandoned" hidden fortress. He's sure that he has found the location
of the maguffin he needs to rule the world, bwaahahaha. Now what I would be doing
in his place is wondering "Who lit all those torches?".
"COME INTO THE FUNHOUSE CAUSE WE BEEN SEPARATED, BABY, FAR TOO LONG!"
Iggy and the
Stooges reunited! Please tell me this set will come out on CD. "Funhouse"
is a touchstone album for me. I once was invited into a party bathroom for
illicit activities because when asked "who is the best guitarist?" I answered
"Ron Ashton is god".
Heads-up courtesy of the Big MoboDaddy
Fri-May 02 2003
Rummy's North Korea Connection
"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld rarely keeps his opinions to himself. He tends
not to compromise with his enemies. And he clearly disdains the communist
regime in North Korea. So it's surprising that there is no clear public record
of his views on the controversial 1994 deal in which the U.S. agreed to provide
North Korea with two light-water nuclear reactors in exchange for Pyongyang
ending its nuclear weapons program. What's even more surprising about
Rumsfeld's silence is that he sat on the board of the company that won a $200
million contract to provide the design and key components for the reactors."
Link
Via Metafilter
Thu-May 01 2003
The Emperor's New Clothes are the Finest in the Land
"At a news conference last Thursday, the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations
in
Geneva, Kevin E. Moley, accused Annan of making "egregious misstatements"
regarding the administration's case for military action against Iraq. Moley,
joined by Jeane Kirkpatrick, a U.S. ambassador to the United Nations during the
Reagan administration, organized the news conference to respond to an
assertion
by Annan that the United States launched its war "without specific
authorization" from the Security Council."
Link
What Annan said:
Referring to the war in Iraq, he said: "The decision to go to war without
specific authorization by the Security Council has created deep divisions that
will need to be bridged if we are to deal effectively, not just with the
aftermath of Iraq, but with other major challenges on the international
agenda."
Link
The Bush administration can get really testy when people it can't control tell
the truth. Especially people who might make it into the news. I'm sure
Ambassador Moley
would assert that security council resolution 1441 gave the U.S. the
authorization
to invade Iraq. Here's the relevant part of the resolution:
12. Decides to
convene immediately upon receipt of a report in accordance with paragraphs 4 or
11 above, in order to consider the situation and the need for full compliance
with all of the relevant Council resolutions in order to secure international
peace and security;
13. Recalls, in that context, that the Council has repeatedly warned Iraq that
it will face serious consequences as a result of its continued violations of
its obligations;
Does that sound like "specific authorization" to you?
I Gotta Go See a Man About a Book
John Varley has a new book out!
"Ophiuchi Hotline" and the "Titan" trilogy are 2 of my most re-read books.
What a pleasant surprise-I had no idea it was even coming. This could
tide me over until "Redemption Ark" shows up in a month.
Missing a Little Something
I notice the Jack In A Box commercials for their fish and chips
refers to them being made of "Alaskan Fish Filets". And exactly
what kind of fish would that be? I do wonder.
|
