"If you understood everything I said, you'd be me" - Miles Davis
"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russell
"Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government." - Lenny Bruce
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" - Homer Simpson

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Study Up
You'll never pass yourself off as a 4 year-old unless you are fully caught up on "Bob the Builder" and "Dora the Explorer".

And that commercial with the 200 dachshaunds instead of 200 head of oxen just cracks me up. Just the idea of 200 wiener dogs makes me giggle.

Nice Essay
Brian Eno on America.

Freaked Me Out
I had written a light-hearted quip for this post, but when I actually bothered to read the whole story, I couldn't let it stand. This is just too real.
Garbage Houses
Via Boing Boing

amen
"Did you know the difference between "Patriot" and Traitor" is just two letters? Not surprisingly, those letters are "PR". Here are some examples:

We know that Saddam Hussein has Anthrax, as well as botulism and bubonic plague, because the Reagan Administration GAVE him the starter cultures. The emissary on that mission? None other than Donald Rumsfeld. Don't believe me? Type "Rumsfeld" + "Anthrax" + "Iraq" into your search engine.

Boy that Dick Cheney sure is a patriotic guy - he'd never give aid and support to our enemies, right? Think again. As CEO of Halliburton, he went around the UN embargo by using foreign subsidiaries Dresser-Rand and Ingersoll-Dresser Pump to rebuild Saddam Hussein's oil infrastructure just three years ago. Not only did he seek to do business with Mr. Hitler-with-a-bigger-mustache, he actually broke the law for the privilege! Estimates of the deal vary from between 23 and 78 million dollars, but Cheney's take amounted to approximately thirty pieces of silver (adjusted for inflation from 33 A.D.) Need proof? Type "Halliburton" + "Iraq" into your search engine.

Admiral John Poindexter, recently put in charge of going over your e-mails and credit card receipts, is a convicted felon who sold Stinger missiles to the Iranians, used the profits to fund an international terrorist organization, and then lied to congress about it. Along with the Stinger missiles, Poindexter also delivered to the Ayatollah a Bible and a key-shaped cake. Go ahead and and call us democrats as unpatriotic as you like, at least we didn't bake any cakes for the Ayatollah.
Too young to remember this? Keywords are "Poindexter" + "Iran".

Worried that you or a loved one may have to serve in the Persian Gulf? Take a tip from the President: "George Bush" + "AWOL"

To put all this in perspective, remember that Bill Clinton was hounded for six and a half years by the GOP over a two-bit Arkansas land deal where he actually lost money. Throughout his presidency, Bill Clinton was accused of practically every crime in the book except the one he was actually guilty of: not being a member of the Republican Party. Let's face it, if any of these clowns had been democrats, the GOP wouldn't be putting them into high office, they'd be putting them to death. For their own sake, please encourage your local democratic party representatives to grow a spine. Quickly. Failing that, here's some advice from Billy Bragg: "Start your own revolution and cut out the middleman."
Stolen wholesale from Boing Boing

Suckage
Why in the hell is "Funky Flubs" on instead of a piping hot new Buffy?

Politics even a sports fan can understand
"If I were an American Democrat, I would ram this point home: American football is organised around Democrat principles and succeeds; baseball is organised around Republican principles and is failing." Link
Via Metafilter

Silence
I remember this story because I saw a flier about her disappearance on a lamp-post while I was on my delivery run. The thing that strikes me now is how the story has dropped off the face of the earth, at least as far as a Google search and constant listening to radio news can discover-no charges filed, no investigation of an abduction, no nothing. I'm more interested in the apparent media blackout than the mystery disapearance.

It's All True
Pat Roberston (Christian Broadcasting Company) linked to Al Qaeda! I would pay good hard cash to see him do the perp walk.
Link
Via Boing Boing

Happy New Year
"The Environmental Protection Agency was on the verge of warning millions of Americans that their attics and walls might contain asbestos-contaminated insulation. But, at the last minute, the White House intervened, and the warning has never been issued."

"Interviews and documents show that just days before the EPA was set to make the declaration, the plan was thwarted by the White House Office of Management and Budget, which had been told of the proposal months earlier."

"Both the budget office and the EPA acknowledge that the White House agency was actively involved, but neither agency would discuss how or why."

"The EPA's chief spokesman Joe Martyak said, "Contact OMB for the details.""

"Budget office spokesperson Amy Call said, "These questions will have to be addressed to the EPA.""

Link
Via Craig's Booknotes

Top Ten Conspiracy Theories of 2002
Maybe there's something behind them, maybe not-but I have to ask myself why juicy stories like this have just vanished from the mainstream media.
Link
Courtesy of my main man Mark W.

What the Flying Heck?
Get drunk at a bar in Hearndon, Va-get arrested while still in the bar. Doesn't matter if you live next door.

Hee Hee Hee
If the "Lord of The Rings" had been written by someone else.
Via Making Light

It Rocked, Hard
I was headed east on I-90 about 7pm on a Thursday about 2 weeks ago heading back to the warehouse after a very full day of deliveries. I had KEXP on the stereo, I think the show was "The Roadhouse". They played this cover of John Lee Hooker's Boom Boom that had every hair on my body standing straight up. I had it turned up so loud I think I could hear it echo in the tunnel. Spooky, sexy vocals and an amazing no-frills guitar-just my meat. I listened impatiently through 5 more songs before the DJ informed me that I had been treated to some fine Tony Joe White. Now I'm on a quest for the album "Tony Joe", which might only be available as a Dutch import. I've been everywhere in Seattle looking for it. Everybody has "The Best of Tony Joe White", which does not contain "Boom Boom"-a frightening idea, because if he has even better stuff-it might kill me.

Long National Nightmare is Over
Finally the dreaded Xmas season is gone. 15 years of retail and wholesale-to-retailers has convinced me "the holidays" are the most stressful and un-fun time of the year. Give me Halloween anyday. I just spent the last 3 weeks delivering 2 tons (literally) of books a day, 6 days a week. I know I've never been stronger, not even that summer I worked construction when I was 18. Thank ghod I didn't get this as a gift.
Via Making Light