"If you understood everything I said, you'd be me" - Miles Davis
"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russell
"Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government." - Lenny Bruce
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" - Homer Simpson

Utility Fog Banner

Don't try this at home
Some time ago I had what I think is a neat idea, and since I have a blog now, I think I'll share it with you. There's a phenomena that supposedly happens to some people who report that they have witnessed UFOs-the Men In Black(MIB) come calling: Strange, oddly moving men in wrinkle-proof black suits driving big black cars who give off a palpable aura of creepy otherness. Now everyone would agree it would be a cool thing to capture a UFO-but there are obvious problems. No one knows when or where the UFO will appear, they seem to be extremely fast and radar stealthy, and there are reports of time anomalies...the list goes on and on. So give up on snagging a UFO-but what about capturing a MIB?
You don't have to sit out in the middle of nowhere, MIBs come to you!
MIB hunting in a nutshell:
1: Rent/Buy a house. Seclusion and anonymity would be a plus.
2: Set the stage. Install a couple or family in the house. Once
again paranoia should be the rule-No real names, plausible fake
3: Set the trap. Your guess is as good as mine-Electromagnetic pulse
weapons, Faraday cages, exotic trank dart guns-you're hunting big game now.
4: Troll the bait. Have your fake family report a UFO sighting. Try to
make as much fuss as you can.
5: Let the games begin!

There are 2 things I love about this idea:
A: It's so neat and elegant and theoretically do-able, provided you're
a crazed multimillionaire-just report a UFO and it's like Bigfoot comes to you.
B: I've never seen it anywhere else.

Cops cost money
I heard about this on NPR and felt compelled to follow it up with some web research. One of Washington State's mental hospitals is in in the Tacoma suburb of Lakewood (the other one is in Eastern Washington at Medical Lake-I took an Anthropology course field trip there one time, and got to beat a mental patient at air hockey. Boy did he get cheesed off-but that's another story). It seems that the city of Lakewood is running a $2 million budget shortfall and since the hospital doesn't pay any taxes the city has decided to cut them off from all police services except those involving life-threatening emergencies. The thing that got me is the number of calls Lakewood sheriffs respond to. I couldn't believe the number I thought I heard over the car radio. But according to this article ,for 2002 the city of Lakewood estimates the hospital will call the police over 2000 times. That's an average of over 5.47 calls PER DAY, EVERY DAY. That is one hell of a lot of law enforcement resources. For someplace that crime-intensive, I can see stationing a couple of state troopers there on a full-time basis.

Can't believe everything you hear
I was waiting for a traffic report from KOMO-1000 (delivery drivers live for traffic info) when I heard a "on this day in history" bit produced by the History Channel. What made me yell out loud was the statement that "Jackie Robinson was the first African-American to play professional baseball". Even I, who regards professional sports as a blight on a par with smallpox and power-ballads, knows full well that there were African-American professional baseball players well before Robinson joined the Major Leagues: For example, the Negro League

Mildly Puzzled
I was unloading the van Thursday, busily digging out a delivery when I heard this "hello". I backed out of the side door with a box, said "hello" back and turned to see who I was being greeted by. Turns out this 13-ish blond girl with a backpack I've never seen before had just greeted me out of nowhere. She was almost past me by the time I saw her and there was no eye contact. I have to wonder what the heck all that was about. Maybe she mistook me for someone else. Or maybe I have a stalker from the 8th grade.

Who woulda thunk it?
Antarctica has some very cool cash, but a distinct shortage of places to spend it.

Via Craig's Booknotes

"If I could date the chick from Alias, I wouldn't be writing this stupid column"
This is some funny shit

via Fark

Round, Round, I get Around
If you don't want to register with the New York Times or Washington Post you can still read the story by going through Google News like this. Adding more search terms will increase your mileage. I wonder if telling you this is illegal under the DCMA? shhhhh, it'll be our secret.

Speaking of David Warner
Jeez, he has been busy.

And, another postscript: Jennifer Lien's character was named "Agent Elle" on "Men In Black".

oooh! Clancy Brown!, I love Clancy Brown, who was "Rawhide" in "Buckaroo Banzai..." and who now does the voice for "Mr. Krabs" on "Spongebob Squarepants". It's a wiggly world.

The Journal of Cognitive Liberties
John Perry Barlow on "LSD and Liberty"

Via Follow Me Here

I get e-mail, and it is good
Frykitty came across my site and said hello. It's exciting and just a bit scary to realize total strangers are starting to wander in. Now if people would stop giving me a blank look when I tell them I have a blog. I bet most of them wonder if it's contagious.

Starting to bug me
What is with all the green-tinted movies, commercials, and television shows? Who decided this looked cool? Now everything that's supposed to be scary or moody gets green, or sometimes brown. It just ain't right, and it's way overused. I like my color full spectrum.
I couldn't find any information on this via Google, but I was surprised at the top return for the terms "green" and "tint".

Musings Regarding Buffy & Angel
1: Where the heck is Clem? They didn't even have the good grace to kill him off. BRING BACK CLEM!
2: Since electricity acts on vampires like it does on humans (remember the Initiative using Tasers) why doesn't Miss Red-Catsuit's shocks effect Angel?

Vaguely unnerving
I never thought I'd hear David Warner doing voices on "Courage The Cowardly Dog" on Nickleodeon. He's really good at it though, and it is nice to know he's getting paid.
Though now that I think about it, he was the polymorphous villain on the "Men in Black" Saturday morning cartoon-along with Jennifer Lien as a sultry Ms. MIB. Cartoon lust, can't beat it with a stick.

Ever Notice?
The next time you're watching TV, try to notice how many times someone throws something off-screen and you hear the annoyed cat sound-effect. Cartoons and commercials are good hunting grounds.

35 Questions On Iraq From A GOP Congressman
"28. Why is it that those who never wore a uniform and are confident that they won't have to personally fight this war are more anxious for this war than our generals?

29. What is the moral argument for attacking a nation that has not initiated aggression against us, and could not if it wanted?

30. Where does the Constitution grant us permission to wage war for any reason other than self-defense?" Link

Via Looka!

It was the damndest thing
I was stopped at a light the other day. There was this flashy SUV stopped on the cross street, and it's wheels were turning. Not the tires, just the chrome. It freaked me out, because I automatically associate spinning wheels with cars moving. I think I was seeing these , unless some mad genius has invented powered spinning wheels. Now that I know what the hell I was looking at I feel sorry for the kind of guy who has such small genitals he needs to spend upwards of $4000 on shiny things to go between his car and his tires.

Mystery Substance Explained
I'm sure I'm not alone in asking myself, just what in the hell is Nougat anyway?

Un-American Arrests
"The D.C. and National Park Service police had used the same technique in each instance:

Surround the crowd. Tell its members to disperse or face arrest. And then, as people try to disperse, block their escape with rows of officers in riot gear and arrest them."

"The practice of preventing withdrawal seems calculated to maximize arrests in order to remove large numbers of people from the streets. This view is reinforced by the fact that hundreds of people were held until Saturday evening, then released in a perfunctory manner. While they could have been released within hours of their arrest, their continued detainment achieved the purpose of disrupting the protests." Link
Via Red Rock Eater

United Nations Security Council Resolutions Currently Being Violated by
Countries Other than Iraq Link
Via Red Rock Eater

Babs and I, we've been had
Down below, for the "84 Reasons Bush Must Go" post I used what I thought was a quote from Julius Caesar. It wasn't. But at least I'm not alone. Barbra Streisand believed it came from Shakespeare and used it in concert. I agree with her-it's still a neat bit of prose. Link
Via Metafilter

Two Words: Cosmic Slop
I've got a number of weaknesses: women with husky voices, tequila and coffee w/sugar, babies, dogs, and the list goes on and on. And right up there is the recently received bin at a good used CD store. So what caught my eye tonight?

The Skatalites-Foundation Ska
The Ornette Coleman Quartet-This Is Our Music
Funkadelic-Hardcore Jollies

They call me Mister Eclectic.

I had been wondering about this
Comparing UN Security Council resolutions concerning Iraq and Israel. Link
Via Red Rock Eater

Now wait just a minute
The NYC police has applied for the ability to investigate and surveil legal political activities. Does anyone else think any terrorists are going to be found attending marches, meetings, or protests? Link
Via Red Rock Eater

Trent Lott, the Senator from Lockheed:
"For him to be in Baghdad, the center of one of the most dangerous dictators in the world, with all kinds of weapons of mass destruction, to be questioning the veracity of our own American president, is the height of irresponsible," said Lott, R-Mississippi. "He needs to come home and keep his mouth shut."
God forbid that our elected officials not support Empereror Shrub or his rush to war.