"If you understood everything I said, you'd be me" - Miles Davis
"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russell
"Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government." - Lenny Bruce
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" - Homer Simpson

Utility Fog Banner

  Why Do They Hate the Constitution?

"The ACLU (with which I consult) not only defends the most elemental American liberties (e.g., the State cannot imprison people without charging and convicting them of a crime), but also renders Al Qaeda's demonization-dependent recruitment efforts against the West far less effective.  By stark contast, the Constitution-hating, warmongering and tyrannical template embraced by The Weekly Standard is precisely what Al Qaeda needs -- and desires --  in order to thrive.  The more the U.S. is represented by the warmongering and anti-due process face of Bill Kristol, the better it is for Al Qaeda; the more it adheres to the liberties and rights guaranteed by the Constitution and defended by the ACLU, the weaker Al Qaeda becomes.  Kristolian neocons want and need a strong Al Qaeda in order to justify the array of wars and civil liberties erosions they crave, and everything they advocate is designed to achieve that goal -- or, at the very least, guarantees that outcome.  

The greatest irony of the last decade is that the very people who most despise core American principles and do more than anyone to fuel Islamic extremism have anointed themselves the arbiters of American patriotism and protectors of American security.  The reality is that it is this very movement which simultaneously advances definitively un-American political values and strengthens anti-American Islamic radicals -- both by design and by effect.  The Weekly Standard's due-process-hating manifesto this morning is a vivid exhibit for how that has worked."

The Weekly Standard's ACLU smear indicts only itself

  Craig Ferguson Late Late Show Lipsinc Openings



Craig Ferguson 7/8/9A Late Late Show WHITE beginning (YouTube)
Craig Ferguson's WONDERFUL Night! (YouTube)
Lifted Wholesale from The Hal Blog II

  Phineas and Ferb Song: "I'm Me"

Lyrics:

I can do it, I can run, I can hunt you down.
You can try, but you can't stop me 'cause I'm gaining ground.
I'm light on my feet and I'm quick to the punch.
I had a heavy breakfast, but a real light lunch.
I'm a raging bonfire, a cherry bomb, I'm me.

I'm rough-and-tumble, I'm the one to beat,
I'm a fresh coat of blacktop burnin' up your feet.
I've got a poisonous sting, when I rain I pour.
I'm the best of the best, I'm the soup du jour.

I'm smooth as glass, and I'm sharp as a tack, I'm me.
I'm the last and best stick of gum in the pack, I'm me.

I'm a strong woman, fast-talking, big-bad-dog walking,
High falutin', drum-beatin', foot stompin', corn-poppin',
Speeding locomotive that just won't stop!
I'm a hot apple pie with a cherry on top!

I'm a crowd pleasin', head spinnin',
Winnin' in the ninth inning,
Whip-lashing, record-smashin',
Black-tie party crashing!

Cyclone of fun, I'm an army of one!
I'm strawberry sprinkles on a hot cross bun!

I'm a big haymaker in a title fight.
I'm a cute black kitten with a nasty bite.
I'm an action double-feature on a Friday night!

I'm me!
I'm me!
I'm me!
I'm me!
I'm me!

    Bonus Quotes:

  • Baljeet: "I'm rethinking having you as my wall of meat"
  • Phineas: "Hey Ferb, you've got to try this, I can't feel my brain"
I'm Me - Phineas and Ferb (YouTube)
I'm Me (Phineas and Ferb Wiki)

  Lost: New Fishbiscuitland Post
CONNECTING THE DOTS

  Days of the Dead
day of the dead skull covered in marigolds

"From October 31st through November 2nd, a number of festivals, holidays and solemnities take place, all loosely related and revolving around remembrance of the dead. Halloween, Samhain, All Saints' Day, All Souls' Day, the Day of the Dead and other festivals trace their origins back to Celtic, Aztec, Roman and Christian traditions. Halloween is largely a secular observation these days, All Souls and All Saints remain mainly Catholic observations, and the Day of the Dead is still largely a Latin American tradition, its roots in Mexico's Aztec heritage. Collected here are photographs over the past week from the varied observations of the Days of the Dead around the world."

Days of the Dead @ The Big Picture


  Vampire Hedgehog
Thankfully, no sign of earthworm minions.

hedgehog in 
vampire halloween costume cute

I Vant To Zuck Your Mealwormz



  Still Getting Away With Torture

"Yesterday, the Second Circuit -- by a vote of 7-4 -- agreed with the government and dismissed Arar's case in its entirety. It held that even if the government violated Arar's Constitutional rights as well as statutes banning participation in torture, he still has no right to sue for what was done to him. Why? Because "providing a damages remedy against senior officials who implement an extraordinary rendition policy would enmesh the courts ineluctably in an assessment of the validity of the rationale of that policy and its implementation in this particular case, matters that directly affect significant diplomatic and national security concerns" (p. 39). In other words, government officials are free to do anything they want in the national security context -- even violate the law and purposely cause someone to be tortured -- and courts should honor and defer to their actions by refusing to scrutinize them.

Reflecting the type of people who fill our judiciary, the judges in the majority also invented the most morally depraved bureaucratic requirements for Arar to proceed with his case and then claimed he had failed to meet them. Arar did not, for instance, have the names of the individuals who detained and abused him at JFK, which the majority said he must have. As Judge Sack in dissent said of that requirement: it "means government miscreants may avoid [] liability altogether through the simple expedient of wearing hoods while inflicting injury" (p. 27; emphasis added).

The commentary about this case from Harper's Scott Horton perfectly captures the depravity of what our Government has done -- and continues to do -- to Arar. His analysis should be read in its entirety, and he concludes with this:

When the history of the Second Circuit is written, the Arar decision will have a prominent place. It offers all the historical foresight of Dred Scott, in which the Court rallied to the cause of slavery, and all the commitment to constitutional principle of the Slaughter-House Cases, in which the Fourteenth Amendment was eviscerated. The Court that once affirmed that those who torture are the “enemies of all mankind” now tells us that U.S. government officials can torture without worry, because the security of our state might some day depend upon it.

I want to add one principal point to all of this. This is precisely how the character of a country becomes fundamentally degraded when it becomes a state in permanent war. So continuous are the inhumane and brutal acts of government leaders that the citizens completely lose the capacity for moral outrage and horror. The permanent claims of existential threats from an endless array of enemies means that secrecy is paramount, accountability is deemed a luxury, and National Security trumps every other consideration -- even including basic liberties and the rule of law. Worst of all, the President takes on the attributes of a protector-deity who can and must never be questioned lest we prevent him from keeping us safe."

A court decision that reflects what type of country the U.S. is


  Helpless Before the Cute
vera french bulldog puppy cute

Vera the French Bulldog



  Cuteness
rescued bobcat and doe friends

"A wildfire in Santa Barbara, California last month helped forge some unlikely bonds. Rescued from the Jesusita Fire, a 3-week old bobcat kitten and 3 day old fawn became fast friends. The animal rescue in California brought predator and prey together. But these babies simply took comfort in each other's company, snuggling under a desk at a dispatch office for hours."

Oct 30, 2009: Fire Survivors

  Too Big To Fail, Or Exist

" And now there are five -- five Wall Street behemoths, bigger than they were before the Great Meltdown, paying fatter salaries and bonuses to retain their so-called"talent," and raking in huge profits. The biggest difference between now and last October is these biggies didn't know then that they were too big to fail and the government would bail them out if they got into trouble. Now they do. And like a giant, gawking adolescent who's just discovered he can crash the Lexus convertible his rich dad gave him and the next morning have a new one waiting in his driveway courtesy of a dad who can't say no, the biggies will drive even faster now, taking even bigger risks.

What to do? Two ideas are floating around Washington, but only one is supported by the Treasury and the White House. Unfortunately, it's the wrong one."

Too Big to Fail: Why The Big Banks Should Be Broken Up, But Why The White House and Congress Don't Want To


  New Alexander Jablokov - Hot Damn
After more than a decade, one of my favorite authors is coming out with a new book January 2010:

"Bernal Haydon-Rumi is the executive assistant to a wealthy socialite, Muriel, who funds eccentric projects such as resettling mammoths on the Great Plains and needs Bernal's management skills to respond to the resulting burnings in effigy by the local citizens. On the way back to Boston from South Dakota, Bernal stops by Muriel's house to spend the night and catch her up on the results of numerous potlucks and football games.

By the next morning, Bernal's been knocked out, Muriel has stolen a car and disappeared, and the local artificial intelligence project she's been funding, a self-guiding probe to explore the surfaces of terrestrial planets, has proved to be way stranger than it seemed on the surface.

Before he can figure out what's going on, Bernal has to deal with an anti-AI activist toting a handmade electronic arsenal, a local serial killer with a penchant for bowling bags, a street-level drug dealer with marketing problems, a cryonic therapist who claims to have figured out a way to strengthen the human personality, Freon-smuggling junk dealers-and someone who wants Bernal dead.

In part an homage to 80s movies like Repo Man and The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension, Brain Thief is a fun, literate speculative fiction adventure set somewhere between the Berkshires and Boston, and includes, at no extra charge, a 30-foot fiberglass cowgirl."

Squee!

Jablokov has 2 earlier books, Carve the Sky and Nimbus, that I cannot recommend highly enough.

Brain Thief

  Lee Dorsey - Who's Gonna Help Brother Get Further?

It's an old thing, It's a soul thing, But it's a real thing.

Lee Dorsey - Who's Gonna Help Brother Get Further? (YouTube)



  If I Had A Front Yard, This Would Be The Fountain
giant baby on a cannon statue

Via My Modern Metropolis



  Big Coat
huge enormous coat parka
really huge coat

  Lost - Ep109, Ep110, and Ep111 Analysis
There's a new, great, big, screencap-filled essay by Fishbiscuit: Into the Woods - 1.09, 1.10 and 1.11 "Solitary", "Raised by Another", "All the Best Cowboys have Daddy Issues"

  Toots & The Maytals - Funky Kingston
Toots & The Maytals - Funky Kingston


  What's Arabic For Chutzpah?

"Saudi Arabia is trying to enlist other oil-producing countries to support a provocative idea: if wealthy countries reduce their oil consumption to combat global warming, they should pay compensation to oil producers."

Yea, good luck with that.

Saudis Seek Payments for Any Drop in Oil Revenues


  Dalek Garlic Bread

Because making food shaped liked genocidal robots makes us feel better in the face of inevitable death.

Via Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

  Who's The Cat That Won't Cop Out When There's Danger All About ?

Even the camera angles are vintage blaxploitation.

"When The Man murders his brother, pumps heroin into local orphanages, and floods the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor, BLACK DYNAMITE is the one hero willing to fight all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House. Michael Jai White (The Dark Knight) stars as BLACK DYNAMITE, a gun-toting, nunchuck-wielding, ladies man and soul brother. Written and directed by Scott Sanders (Thick as Thieves), BLACK DYNAMITE also stars Tommy Davidson, Nicole Sullivan, Bokeem Woodbine, Arsenio Hall and John Salley. Black Dynamite in theaters on Oct. 16th. "

Thick as Thieves was good; a smart, understated crime movie.

Black Dynamite (Official Movie Trailer) (YouTube)

Black Dynamite Official Site



  In The Future We Will All Be Comforted By Snuggly Robot Maggots
Funktionide Part II
Via Futurismic

  Wherein I Nitpick

So I'm watching FlashForward. Let's go to Wikipedia for a semi-quick synopsis:

"The premise of FlashForward is that a mysterious paranormal event causes everyone on the planet to simultaneously lose consciousness for 137 seconds, during which people see what appear to be visions of their lives approximately six months in the future - a global "flashforward". A number of people saw newspapers or calendars and it is established that every vision occurs on April 29 or April 30, 2010 at the exact same time, depending on time zones at 5 am UTC. It is also established that the precognitive visions were shared; if one character sees another in their vision, the other character also reports the same events in their vision. The event results in deaths from accidents and leaves the survivors wondering whether what they saw will really happen.

In the pilot, a team of Los Angeles FBI agents, led by Stanford Wedeck (Courtney B. Vance) and spearheaded by protagonist Mark Benford (Joseph Fiennes), begin the process of determining what happened, why, and whether it will happen again. Benford is in a uniquely valuable position to lead this investigation because during his flashforward, he was looking at a project board of the investigation. The board was covered with pictures and notes, and Benford was able to remember several significant details, including a note that said "D. Gibbons". At the end of Mark's blackout, he sees a bunch of masked gunmen (one with a three-star tatoo) trying to kill him. He also notices a woven friendship bracelet on his wrist that he does not recognize. Shortly thereafter, he is given a bracelet of that design by his daughter. With the help of his team, Benford creates a website database of people's flashforwards from around the world. He calls it the Mosaic Collective after the case he saw himself investigating during his own flashforward."

Besides why and how the blackout visions occured, one of the major mysteries of the show is whether the future shown in the visions is inevitable or not. What's been irking me is that it never occurs to anyone, and particularly Mark Benford, to try making the future they saw impossible. All Mark has to do is change the investigation project board from the way he envisioned it to prove that the future they saw is not preordained, at least in small ways.

And it's very strange that future-Mark, who's had a vision that armed men are going to attack his office on April 29th at 9pm is just sitting there alone in the dark waiting for them, unless he has reason to believe that changing the future is bad. I would theorize that the visions are of a future that doesn't include the visions.



  The Plastic Undead
brickcon lego zombie apocafest

17 tables of Lego Zombie mayhem at BrickCon.

Zombie Apocafest 2009 (Flickr)
Via io9

  Wrasslin' Botchmania

Collection of professional wrestling mistakes, blunders, and misspeaks. Warning: NSFW-Bad Language.

Personal favorite: The guy in the giant-headed dragon mascot costume at 5:20 - "Somebody's gonna get fired".

Best of Botchamania (as voted by you)
More: MaffewofBotchamania
Via MetaFilter

  Iran

"Belief: Iran is a militarized society bristling with dangerous weapons and a growing threat to world peace.

Reality:Iran's military budget is a little over $6 billion annually. Sweden, Singapore and Greece all have larger military budgets. Moreover, Iran is a country of 70 million, so that its per capita spending on defense is tiny compared to these others, since they are much smaller countries with regard to population. Iran spends less per capita on its military than any other country in the Persian Gulf region with the exception of the United Arab Emirates."

The top ten things you didn't know about Iran
Via Glenn Greenwald

  Another Rocking Saturday Night
Apartment neighbor recently got a guitar. He would have been better off with a hamster. All he's done is fail to play scales with a squeeky-clean tone that sounds like Joe Pass on Valium. Dude- you have an ELECTRIC GUITAR, at least try to rock out, that's what it's for.

  Funky Persians

Iranian Funk in the 70s



  Teletubby Zombies

I suppose it was only a matter of time before they developed a taste for human flesh.

L4DMods.com Presents: Left 4 Teletubbies by flameknight7
Via Digg

  I Really Shouldn't, But I Will
The Google Image Search for "Hot Mess" (don't ask), it burns. You've been warned.

  He's A Complicated Platypus


  Happy Dog
happy chihuahua dog

Sniffing flowers B