"If you understood everything I said, you'd be me" - Miles Davis
"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russell
"Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government." - Lenny Bruce
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" - Homer Simpson

Utility Fog Banner

The Fruit Of The Tree Of Knowledge Is Bitter
So I set up a site tracker from SiteMeter so that I can narcissisticly revel in the gazillions of hits I get from my horde of adoring fans. Where do you think the first outside visitor came from? Yup, a MSN search for hardcore asian porn. I'm result #44 out of 17,518,063, so I got that going for me.

Taking It To The Stage
P-Funk in Lego
Via Incoming Signals

Gundams Flee In Surrealistic Terror
dali action figure
Salvador Dali Action Figures
Via Fimoculous.com

Billy Was A Mountain
Natural Phenomena Named After Frank Zappa
Via Bifurcated Rivets

Puzzled And Irked
Only 12 Democrats (and 1 Independent) in the Senate voted No on confirming Condoleezza Rice as Secretary Of State. Included in the Yeas were both of my (Democratic) Senators: Patty Murray and Maria Cantrell. I don't understand what practical or political benefit could have gained by voting with the Republicans on a sure thing-their votes were unneeded and hence had no value.

Much Ado About Nothing
The Onion nails it:
"U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially Exposed Breast On TV

WASHINGTON, DC-As the nation approaches the one-year anniversary of the Super Bowl XXXVIII tragedy, an FCC study shows that millions of U.S. children were severely traumatized by the exposure to a partially nude female breast during the Feb. 1, 2004 halftime show.

"No one who lived through that day is likely to forget the horror," said noted child therapist Dr. Eli Wasserbaum. "But it was especially hard on the children."

The tragic wardrobe malfunction occurred approximately 360 days ago, during Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake's performance of "Rock Your Body," when Timberlake tore Jackson's costume, accidentally revealing her right breast.

"By the time CBS cut to an aerial view of the stadium, the damage was done," said Wasserbaum, who has also worked extensively with orphaned and amputee children in Third World war zones. "I've found that children can be amazingly resilient, but this event was too much for many of them to take. The horrible image of that breast is likely to haunt them for the rest of their lives."

According to the 500-page report filed by the FCC, more than 90 percent of the children who saw the exposed breast said they were "confused and afraid."

"Mommy has dirty chest bumps," said a 5-year-old boy quoted in one of the thousands of case studies compiled by the FCC. "She's like the bad lady on TV. I'm afraid Mommy will take off her shirt and scare everyone. I hate Mommy."
Across America, parental concern over the condition doctors have dubbed Nearly Naked Breast Disorder continues to grow.

"How can my son Brandon be expected to make it through something like that unscathed?" asked mother of four Shonali Bhomik of the San Francisco-based What About the Children? Foundation, one of many social-awareness groups spearheading the fight for increased NNBD funding in Congress. "For approximately 1.5 seconds, he saw a breast. The image was seared into his innocent, tiny retinas. He can't close his eyes without replaying the whole ugly scene over and over in his little head."

"For the love of God-that breast was almost nude," Bhomik added.

Bhomik said she has concerns about her son's development.

"I shudder to think how this could affect my son once he reaches puberty," Bhomik said. "Little Brandon just wanted to watch the fun halftime show with his family. He was only 10 years old."

Bhomik is one of millions of people facing every parent's worst nightmare: that their child will see a partially exposed breast."
Via The Big MoboDaddy

"Is there anything you need to run Windows for?

Yes, there is an area affecting business and home use where Linux is greatly deficient, and I see no solution coming at all. I refer to the area of e-mail viruses - they just don't make them for Linux like they do for Windows. Same with a lot of those crippling meltdowns and system errors. If you want a blue screen of death freeze-up, you pretty much have to run Windows to get it. You won't be able to run those trojan horses that steal all your passwords and copy your files out to the Internet, and you're out of luck with all those funny attachments that wreak havoc in the workplace - there isn't any Linux compatibility here at all."
Via Slashdot

Sweet Nuggets Of Pop Culture Goodness
The Mantis-Eye Experiment is a very nice "Venture Brothers" fansite. I really hope Cartoon Network gives the boys a second season.

Mind Firmly In Gutter
"New Britney Clip Has Flying Hummer, More Underwear Dancing"
Oh, you mean the giant SUV?...damn
Via Fark

Dude, You Just Know It Was Aliens
Iapetus Ridge
Just plain freaky: Saturn's moon Iapetus has a equatoral ridge
Via Warrenellis.com

Original Sin
"Focusing on torture as the main objection to Alberto Gonzales' taking over as Attorney General distracts us from his greater sin: his attempt to give the president the power to imprison Americans incommunicado and indefinitely, without recourse to courts or lawyers. Such contempt for our civil rights shows that Gonzales cannot be trusted to protect them.

The White House, with Gonzales as legal adviser, argued for this unchecked and arbitrary power in two cases, all the way up to the US Supreme Court. Those cases concerned Yaser Hamdi and Jose Padilla, Americans whom President Bush suspected were "enemy combatants" and threw into military prisons. Both men had no way to question the grave accusations against them.

Fortunately, the Supreme Court rejected the Administration's claim to such power last June and ordered that Hamdi be given a hearing (it avoided that issue in Padilla's case based on procedural grounds). When the government was required to prove its case against Hamdi, it released him instead, revealing that it had lacked any legitimate basis for locking him away for over two years. (Despite its lack of evidence, the government forced him to renounce his US citizenship and deported him to Saudi Arabia.)

What happened to Hamdi is outrageous. But the greater outrage is that the Administration ever argued for such power in the first place. The safeguards that the president tried to strip from us are part of the fundamental "due process" of law that our Constitution requires before the government can take our life, liberty or property. Due process is not a privilege to be given or removed at the government's behest, but a right that belongs to the citizenry, part of the bargain for delegating our powers to our government."
Via Linkfilter

Little Boy Kicks Monster's Ass

Via Eyebeam reBlog

Heard tonight on a local TV news promo:

"At 11, why explosions make this fire so dangerous"

Ah, maybe because they're EXPLOSIONS? I swear, watching local news will lower your IQ to that of a mollusk. National news is scarcely better, but it probably keeps you in the vertebrate range.

Bugging Me Dept.
When did "Cellular" morph into "Wireless"?

Faux Pas
So Prince Harry is in deep kimchi for wearing a Nazi "uniform" to a costume party. This got me wondering about the semiotics of wearing a costume. Apparently it's bad for Harry to appear in Nazi regalia because of who he is. Other than that I can't figure out how exactly he gave offence. People wear Nazi uniforms all the time for movies and nobody gets upset. People dress as Satan and they aren't berated for it. If wearing a Satan costume doesn't mean you side with the embodiment of evil then wearing a Nazi costume doesn't mean you like the Nazis. That said, Harry wore the lamest Nazi costume I have ever seen. They may have been evil, but they had cool looking clothes.

So Not Right
There is something deeply wrong in the American Movie Classics channel showing "Missing In Action 2".

Feral Cities
"Imagine a great metropolis covering hundreds of square miles. Once a vital component in a national economy, this sprawling urban environment is now a vast collection of blighted buildings, an immense petri dish of both ancient and new diseases, a territory where the rule of law has long been replaced by near anarchy in which the only security available is that which is attained through brute power.1 Such cities have been routinely imagined in apocalyptic movies and in certain science-fiction genres, where they are often portrayed as gigantic versions of T. S. Eliot?s Rat?s Alley.2 Yet this city would still be globally connected. It would possess at least a modicum of commercial linkages, and some of its inhabitants would have access to the world?s most modern communication and computing technologies. It would, in effect, be a feral city."
Via The Big MoboDaddy

I'm Bad, I'm Syndicated
I've been using Bloglines as my RSS aggregator (geek buzzwords, I love 'em) and I like it. It's easy to use and it just works. But I discovered that the RSS feed from Utility Fog was kaput. Well now I've finally gotten around to fixing it. Did I painstakingly debug the perl script? Heck no, I just downloaded a new copy of Blosxom and re-entered my user variables, and bingo, I've got a peachy new RSS feed.

And a button: xml button

Everbody Look-It's Halley's Comet!
"So let's review. The White House will:
1. Use an outdated projection, instead of an actual reality, as a way of claiming they've already nearly met their goal.

2. "Predict," for no particular reason, that this will be the greatest year for tax revenue in American history.

3. Just not count some things that are really expensive, namely the cost of the Iraq war, operations in Afghanistan, and tax cuts, just because, well, that makes it look like we've accomplished deficit reduction without us having to accomplish any actual deficit reduction.

4. Also not count the $2 trillion in the transition to Social Security privatization, because they think eventually the government might get the money back. That's like saying we won't count the cost of the next transportation bill in next year's budget, because eventually transportation investments will result in more productivity and thus more tax revenue. Maybe they will and maybe they won't, but that doesn't mean you just don't have to count them.
I'm no historian, but has there ever been an administration that was as dishonest as this one when it came to how it reported, argued about, counted and projected our government's finances? "
Via Gadflyer

Heavy metal umlaut
Via Dong Resin's Joint

Bruce Sterling is giving his annual "State Of The World" interview on the Well.
"When a giant tidal wave hits Asia, Bush pulls his own dad out of mothballs, but when the Arctic melts from climate change, permafrost forests fall over drunkenly and Eskimo villages slide into the thawing muck, everybody in the Republican Party looks all pie--eyed, quotes the Bible and blames hurricanes on lesbians."
Via Boing Boing

Nice Phrase
"The first kind of surface wave is called a Love wave, named after A.E.H. Love, a British mathematician who worked out the mathematical model for this kind of wave in 1911. It's the fastest surface wave and moves the ground from side-to-side."
I just think it's great that there actually is a "Love Wave". Too bad it doesn't come from a raygun.
Via Metafilter

Happy New Year
If you haven't checked out the massive list of 2004 lists on Fimoculous you just haven't been doing it right.

"Dear WaMu.com user,

WaMu Security Department experts observed on many user accounts
violation of our site policy below:"

These things must be coming from Eastern Europe or Junior High School.

Peter Lorrie
"...what made Peter Lorre such a dynamic actor was the discontinuity between how he said what he said and how he looked when he said it. A Lorre reading inspired levels of interpretation, double-meanings, and dark subtexts codified with a cynic's wit. Untold secrets seemed to lie just behind those obtuse oculars of his."
I need to get "The Maltese Falcon" on DVD.
Via Linkfilter